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October Exercise of the Month

What do we do with the information we get? On an ordinary day, when we view someone’s behaviour, we tend to put meaning onto it based on our reference experiences and respond accordingly. On a good day, we may consider their positive intention and work towards pacing that.

On an excellent day, we can go even further than that. We can come alongside the behaviour, with the deep commitment of sponsorship, and recognise the underlying attributes that generate that behaviour in the first place. By pacing this, we both can make tremendous progress, in a truly affirming and enhancing way.

Viewing behaviour by what we can presuppose about it is a reframe in its own right, and can lead to fundamental shifts in thinking, ours and theirs – surely the ultimate goal of any reframe.

It does take a bit of practice, however, since it is a skill. But it is one that is tremendous to get into our muscle and worth the effort.

WHAT TO DO

The following exercise begins to flex your thinking. If you have any more examples then feel free to post them on our Discussion Board. Match up the four categories to progress from behaviour through to alternative direction. The ‘answers’ are in the second table.

Example

Operating Part    Little Boy

Symptoms          Fearful, scared, withdrawing

Attributes           Detect and evaluate danger. Express emotion. Self

                            protect.

New Direction    Responsible for emotional feedback

 

Operating Part	Symptoms	Attributes	New Direction
Bully	Opinionated Superior Uncaring	High energy Retains information Awareness of context	Responsible for emotional feedback
Destroyer	Argumentative Independent	Detect and evaluate danger Express emotion Self protect	Policy Maker
Little Boy	Suicidal Can’t go on Angry	Know what should happen Articulate Cares that things aren’t right	Spokesperson
Rebel	Loves Partying Follows gossip Loves looking good	Knowledgeable Detects low self worth Controlling	Security Guard
Commentator	Angry, tired, brutal criticism	Determined Commitment Spots weaknesses Has standards	Diplomat
Jack the Lad	Fearful Scared Withdrawing	Hates injustice Stands up for self and others Evaluates situations	Coach

Answers

 

Operating Part	Symptoms	Attributes	New Direction
Little Boy	Fearful Scared Withdrawing	Detect and evaluate danger Express emotion Self protect	Responsible for emotional feedback
Rebel	Argumentative Independent	Hates injustice Stands up for self and others Evaluates situations	Spokesperson
Destroyer	Suicidal ‘Things can’t go on’ Angry	Know what should happen Articulate Cares that things aren’t right	Security Guard
Jack the Lad	Loves Partying Follows gossip Loves looking good	High energy Retains information Awareness of context	Diplomat
Commentator	Opinionated Superior Uncaring	Knowledgeable Detect low self worth Controlling	Policy Maker
Bully	Angry, tired, brutal criticism	Determined Commitment Spots weaknesses Has standards	Coach

I would be delighted to hear from you regarding your experiences of working with this model. Do email me on admin@nlpand.co.uk

All the best

Fran Burgess
Director of Training