| ||||||
|
Entertainment
Background Information : Features :
Competitions
Learner's Resources :
Members discussion forum
|
Really Good Decisions
During our recent NLP practitioner training someone said that he had made "some really good decisions!" We all nodded assuming we knew what he meant. But it left me thinking, because I really felt I understood what it meant to make a really good decision. I really empathised with the deep satisfaction that comes from make a really good decision, and how rewarding and complete it can feel. So what makes this type of decision different from the other types of decisions we make? What makes it really good as opposed to just good? What are the hallmarks of an everyday decision or even a bad decision? And how can I tell the difference? Because this has nothing to do with the consequences of the decision or its outcome. Our belief in the quality of the decision is not future based. Somehow, our system can evaluate and future pace from the moment of now, and inform us on its quality at the point of its making. The results are merely an apparent confirmation of what we already knew. In the process of thinking this through, I began to test decisions I had made in the past and categorise them under the Bad, Indifferent, Good and Really Good headings. As a result of this self-modelling, I have come up with the following thoughts. I would be delighted to find out if these findings are shared, or where differences of experience exist. Bad Decisions A bad decision is based on insufficient information. It doesn't address the full ecology within the system. It is expedient, often under pressure and duress. It is sloppy and is made often with the insight that a follow on decision will be required to patch up the consequences of the first one. Such 'sod it' decisions are borne out of stress, and generate even greater stress to come. Even if at the time, we appear to be 'decisive' we are shooting ourselves and others in the foot. It's as if we have come up underneath the issue and not fully surfaced, closed our thinking too early and not addressed all the factors that are actually operating. Such decisions leave us feeling dissatisfied and anxious, because we are aware that we have left ourselves vulnerable. We may have bought time, but it will have been a pyrrhic victory. The nagging doubts of those flapping open loops drain us of energy. A series of bad decisions can be really damaging. Everyday Decisions So what are everyday decisions? What am I going to have for my tea? What shall I wear today? These are decisions that are based on the information available and are pragmatic and functionary. Little time is spent processing in the conscious cognitive domain. The strength of these decisions lie in their perfunctory nature, because they require little energy and their consequences are not far reaching. We don't have to spend a great amount of time evaluating the pros and cons. They neither leave us excited or perplexed, and if asked about would have to search for the criteria we were using to come to the decision we did. Good Decisions These decisions are ecologically sound, for us and for others around us and for the situation we find ourselves in. They require an evaluation of the issues involved, cause us to draw upon our experiences and learned intuition, and require us to test the various scenarios for the consequences of our actions. We don't take them lightly, and we offer respect to the circumstances to apply our best thinking. Good decisions are sound decisions, which prove the test of time. They form a solid foundation for action, and can be relied upon. A series of good decisions within a project can chart the steady pathway through unknown and unfamiliar territory. It seems to me much is down to how the decision leaves me feeling. Really Good Decisions With a Really Good Decision, there is a sense of completion; a sense of deep congruence, as if 'I've come to a journey's end'; that all the loose ends have been tied up, or pinned down, or even woven together, so that I will no longer have to expend any more thought or effort in that direction. It also means that this decision is likely to provide the answers to other unresolved issues and that I have metaphorically killed at least two, and more than likely, many more birds with the same stone. It's as if I have found the doorway at last into a complex maze. I can feel good about having waited this long to come to a conclusion. The interim confusion was justified and worthwhile. And I can experience that instant reduction of stress. To quote Mary Oliver, this decision tending, as all music does, toward silence. " I can now relax, and in that relaxation set my filters accordingly and gather the information that will support my new direction. I am energised, not just with the thoughts of what is to come as a result of the decision. I am energised because I have reconnected with my own wisdom. A really good decision connects to our higher purpose, and once made seems so obvious. Which sorts of decisions have you been making of late? © 2004 Fran Burgess 5 June 2004 |
|
NLP Training Courses near Manchester in the UK